Tuesday, February 27, 2007

______________________________

broken february




too bad bambi had a relapse, too. but no, not with a head cold. remember my november disaster? made me lose 8 lbs, (yeah!) but that's not the point.

i saw a sent sms last night asking charming (named her after bakekang's daughter, too nice of me, eh?) for a chat session again. so i got confused. and angry. and hurt. so damn hurt.

but although i am confused, i don't want to be melancholic. i don't even think about it. sure, every now and then i feel some pain, but i push away the tears. i think i am in denial not because i cannot accept it, but because i simply don't want to think about it. period.

i try to be busy. i listen to happy music. i surf. i call people. but later, when i go home to sleep, there will be quietness that i cannot escape.

i don't know what to do. what to plan. everything will be ruined again. and will be ruined permanently.

that's why i don't want to think. yet. because it will be so complicated and the consequences will be fatal. and im getting tired of this. tired of the cycle of getting over and getting hurt again and again. and again.


february. the month of love. yeah, right...

*excerpts from my pretty mixed-up life*|10:25 AM|

[[ rEbELLE hEaRt ]]

female + leo + brown eyes + black hair + lover + fighter + listener + whiner extraordinaire + clumsy + emotional + private + quiet + fickle + wanderer + big dreamer + loner + reader + writer + graphic designer + artist - charcoal, watercolor, pencil, illustrator & photoshop + scribble freak + anti-procrastinator + unpredictable + reliable

[[ mY LifE ]]

has a very baaad memory + a big scaredy-cat + creatively inclined, but terribly unmotivated at times + efficient whenever passionate + skeptical sometimes + want to learn how to drive + college dropout (hahaha!) + most of the time confused + angsty + believes in karma + thinks bambi is yummy + blaring headphones when working resulted to inability to hear people sometimes + laid back + forget faces, remember names + has mild oc tendencies + trying to escape reality at most times + still looking for inner peace + terribly afraid to see supernatural things

[[ mY mEss ]]

shopping + sleeping + drawing + hp + green tea + cold pizza + pasta + fries + jackie chan + fight club + hale + pucca + r&b, soul & acoustic - not a music-lover, but a sound-tripper + candles + photography + guitar + painting + charmed + itunes

[[ mY buSiNEss ]]

life goals... to kick ass and drive a 2-door m&m-yellow-colored lancer

[[ previous posts ]]


[[ ...& aLL soRts of cRap in BetwEEN ]]



[[ History ]]

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